Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The god summoned your presence , leaving us in your absence. I could still remembered the day when my brother rang me, telling me about the news. Shocked and devastated, I start browsing through my twitter to wait for news the surface. In those agonizing minutes, rumors became reality. And reality hits you hard.

I liked you for those constant lame jokes that blurted out from your mouth, saying that you wished I was your son in law, bragging you can play the guitar better than me, so many more jokes which has been blurted out from you through the years of high school.

I was sitting next to a friend. A friend which was easily the top 5 student in the entire school. Among all the jokes that you told the class, I knew it wasn't a joke when you said I had something special that my friend doesn't have. Then, I wasn't quite sure what you were talking about. Throughout the years, after graduating from university, I think I understand what you meant back then.

You served the school for almost 30 years. A role model to every colleague, students and me. I had the opportunity to visit you when I was in Malaysia, but the laziness in me said otherwise. Maybe your death did not affect the other students much, but it still lingers in me.

Cherish those that are still in your presence. Talk to those when given the opportunity. Appreciate those that made your day. Love those that love you the most.

Rest In Peace, Mr Perumal. Not visiting high school during your presence will be one of my biggest regrets.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Confused 

Sunday, August 7, 2016

I break down, I feel useless, I might be losing the spark, I just want to dig a hole and not see anyone for the day, I'm constantly drown by thoughts, weird thoughts.

I'm still here, masking myself up with a smile. Dear god, I'm only human.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

For me remembering my dreams are rare. I usually wake up without remembering any of them. 

Things got a little peculiar the last week, when I can actually remember most of them. Being blown awake by dreams at 3-4 in the middle of the night sucks, It's impossible for me to drift back to sleep. My thoughts haunt me and I find myself starring at my room's ceiling until the morning sun creeps through my window.

I thought I was way over you like a thousand years ago, but you somehow you still come invading my sleep. 

Monday, May 23, 2016

10 years ago, my hero would be some lame guy with a cape. 

Today, if being asked who my hero would be, without hesitation, it would be my parents. Not all heroes wear capes 

Sometimes, I'm just to shy to express my feelings towards my parents. Maybe I'm just not good with words 


Saturday, July 11, 2015

I'm just a piece of pawn on a chess set in your life. It's either I'm sacrificed or used, never protected. After my service, I'm thrown away, forgotten. 

Before I even left for Australia, I've always been by your side. When the news came to me that you've failed 3 of your subjects. Honestly, you weren't the one who felt disastrous. I had the same share of feeling as well. I felt I had to bear some responsibility. As I did not push you to study as hard as you can. From that moment onwards, I've been monitoring your hours spent on Dota. 

There was this period of time when we were working in popular together. If we have common shifts, I would pick you up from your house and we would then go to work together. I thought that you would be tired even before starting work if you had to walk some distance. There was this day, where our shift ended. It was 10 pm. It was that moment that you realized that you left your keys with your girlfriend. And your girlfriend is all the way at mid valley. I didn't want to leave you stranded somewhere, trying to catch a taxi or bus at this time of the hour. I offered to give you a lift to mid valley. I knew that I would reach home way later than usual. And I was having a morning shift the very next day. However, I told myself, I would gladly help a friend like you. 

My dear friend, do you know that, every trip to sunway, 1U, ss15 and all those places we've been with the gang together. I could have just drive to those places alone without giving you a lift ? 
Do you know how much it would cost you to hire a taxi to take you to those places ? And it was also my responsibility to fetch you back to your hostel ? It didn't happen once or twice. This went on for three years. I'm not talking about how much you should pay me back. It was never about the money. I just needed one thing from you. Appreciation. And my young friend, I was happy to have spent the time together with you. I thought you would do the exact same thing for me. 

Before flying back home from Australia, you needed me to fetch you to Bangsar. You brought another friend with you. I didn't mind at all. You wanted me to detour to Amcorp Mall to repair your cellphone. I did what you told me to. And then the next day, another trip to GlenEagles KL. At the end of the day, I realized, there wasn't any appreciation given. 

I asked for a favour. Just to buy me breakfast, you hesitated, you were reluctant. I provided with accommodation to stay for 2 weeks to stay in Australia. And all I wanted was a skype session to see how things are going with you. And your demanding girlfriend bluntly told me not to disturb you as she wants to spend the whole night skyping you. And an hour after being told off, that bitch has the cheek to come asking for my assistance. I was always by your side, but when I needed a little help. You were the first to look away. 

I treated you like a true friend. But looks like I was a driver on your eyes. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

People who will only remember you only when they seek help. What are they called ? Friends ?