The god summoned your presence , leaving us in your absence. I could still remembered the day when my brother rang me, telling me about the news. Shocked and devastated, I start browsing through my twitter to wait for news the surface. In those agonizing minutes, rumors became reality. And reality hits you hard.

I liked you for those constant lame jokes that blurted out from your mouth, saying that you wished I was your son in law, bragging you can play the guitar better than me, so many more jokes which has been blurted out from you through the years of high school.

I was sitting next to a friend. A friend which was easily the top 5 student in the entire school. Among all the jokes that you told the class, I knew it wasn't a joke when you said I had something special that my friend doesn't have. Then, I wasn't quite sure what you were talking about. Throughout the years, after graduating from university, I think I understand what you meant back then.

You served the school for almost 30 years. A role model to every colleague, students and me. I had the opportunity to visit you when I was in Malaysia, but the laziness in me said otherwise. Maybe your death did not affect the other students much, but it still lingers in me.

Cherish those that are still in your presence. Talk to those when given the opportunity. Appreciate those that made your day. Love those that love you the most.

Rest In Peace, Mr Perumal. Not visiting high school during your presence will be one of my biggest regrets.

Confused 

I break down, I feel useless, I might be losing the spark, I just want to dig a hole and not see anyone for the day, I'm constantly drown by thoughts, weird thoughts.

I'm still here, masking myself up with a smile. Dear god, I'm only human.

For me remembering my dreams are rare. I usually wake up without remembering any of them. 

Things got a little peculiar the last week, when I can actually remember most of them. Being blown awake by dreams at 3-4 in the middle of the night sucks, It's impossible for me to drift back to sleep. My thoughts haunt me and I find myself starring at my room's ceiling until the morning sun creeps through my window.

I thought I was way over you like a thousand years ago, but you somehow you still come invading my sleep. 

10 years ago, my hero would be some lame guy with a cape. 

Today, if being asked who my hero would be, without hesitation, it would be my parents. Not all heroes wear capes 

Sometimes, I'm just to shy to express my feelings towards my parents. Maybe I'm just not good with words